The story of a broken heart who still keeps loving as it is breaking

"It sounds like he needs you more then I do" As Lizzy reads those words from her monitor she suddenly bursts out in tears. Why she asks herself why is this happening to me just when I thought I had things figured out now its a emotional roller coaster. " But he doesn't mean as much to me as you do I love you so much " she types pauses for a moment as a single tear rolls down her face and collides with her keyboard and deletes the message before sending it. She thinks to herself "I know things haven't been perfect lately but I always thought it would turn around, I do realize that yes we haven't seen each other for a while so maybe it'll all turn around" then she stops her thoughts dead in her tracks and remembers the night before when Bobby Joe her x from two years ago told her he still had feeling for her and thought about it for a long time about asking her out again She just wants it all to end the pain, the hurt Nobody ever knew just how much she blamed herself about what was occurring " Do you love me enough for me to stay?" she asks Jessie scared for her life what would his answer be ,already her hands where sharing frantically there is a long pause then after what seems like forever he replies "I don't know" she starting crying even harder now and her hands where trembling worse now then ever she didn't want to loose him it was ten months as of this day and now things where going upside down because she told him about Bobby Joe. Why she asks herself why would she tell him about that. She loves him too much to let him go not now and she could never break his heart she just cant do it..." You meant the world to me in grade10 but things are different now and Iv made too many mistakes before" " What mistakes are you talking about" she replies thanking god that she isn't face to face with him because she can barley breath because of her tears through her sorrow. " When I went to camp and ignoring you which I knew in my heart was wrong" " Yes I was hard for you to be gone but I wanted you to go to camp because you always seem so happy when you would talk about going there and the highlight of my summer was when you would phone me telling me about your day " her face red as her hair now from crying" Dammit she says to herself why does this have to happen I love his boy to the bottom of my heart and yes even when we go through a rough time he always seems to slip into my head some how or another and I think to myself wow I really am glad to have met him when I did. " she looks at the clock its past 12 " I just need time to think" he says" This is all too sudden" there is a long silence which seems as thought it was forever and says " You should probably go you need to get some sleep for school" they don't say their normal goodbye and she logs off and as she lies there in bed she says to herself I cant do this to him I would do anything to have things back to the way they where before , before the hurt, pain , confusion the emotional roller coaster because back then everything was great and the tears keep coming to her eyes she whispers to herself I want things to be the way they where I want things to be back to the way they where as she slowly falls asleep then her first thought the next morning was I love him so much , nobody knows how much I blame myself for all this pain Iv caused for both him and I.. I want things to be as they where I want things to be as they where
Nobody knows how much she balmed herself for all the pain ....