why?

why,why, i ask why is it so hard why is it such a messed up and cruel fact of growing up your emotions go upside down and change so often its hard to know what you want anymore

do you want to be with them ?or have nothing to do with them ?it's always changing and its just hard cuz I dont know what I should do about**** like **** is a nice guy and all but I dont know there's something not right about him for some reason like he knows when ever something's wrong and all then there are those days whee Im talking to him and he say's something smart and I have no idea what in the world he's talking about I feell so stupid but pretend to know what he's talking about anyways. some days I want to talk to him then there are those where I wish I never got into this whole mess I really wish my emoitions would stop playing chicken with me and make up my freeking mind already but why , why is it so hard to decide what to do